Since I have been a lot busier than I had originally thought I would be when I got back to Nebraska, I haven’t had time to write. The last time we talked I was in Texas and Braden was in Canada. I picked him up at the airport yesterday and he didn’t hug me, hold my hand when we walked to the car, or kiss me. We started driving back to campus, which was about 2 hours away, and he started rubbing and holding my thigh while I drove. He told me all about his trip and how much fun he had and we had a really good conversation. Last night we did do all the things he talked about doing. Sex, grocery shopping, getting high, video games, and hanging out with friends. Last night he fell asleep on the couch though instead of coming to bed like I had wanted, but he promised we could cuddle tonight to make up for it.
Braden is a very confusing guy. Everyone thinks that we should be together or that we are together or we might as well be together, but we aren’t together at all. As much as I wish that we were, he never lets me forget that we aren’t together. It is definitely a lot harder for me than it is for him because I talk to a lot of my friends about him and about everything that goes on between us and he doesn’t, and whenever we are with our friends he acts like I am more of his friend than his girlfriend. But whenever we are together by ourselves he acts like my boyfriend and that just really frustrates me.
I am glad we have had time to catch up and talk. It had really helped us grow closer. We got to Skype his mom last night and it was so nice to talk to her again and see her. Braden and I got to talk about the future and everything and that is what is giving me hope for the two of us and keeping me happy right now. Just going to give him his time to heal after the pain I put him through a couple of months ago.